Brevity is the soul of lingerie. Or so we have been led to believe.
Who can forget, after all, the horror of poor Bridget Jones when she realised Daniel Cleaver was about to see her ‘giant granny pants’ in the hit film?
Since the Fifties, knickers have been steadily shrinking, eventually leading to the pain-inducing thong becoming the undergarment of choice for a generation of women.
But now, suddenly, it seems the not-so-brief briefs are back.
Actress and model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley has designed her own high-waisted range of underwear for M&S’s Autograph label this season, with Ava Gardner and Grace Kelly-inspired camiknickers boldly occupying the aisles of the stores’ lingerie departments.
But while Rosie, with her gazelle-like proportions, undoubtedly looks fabulous in these bloomers, what chance do mere mortals stand of looking anything other than lumpy?
6/10 Topshop Bralet, £22, Briefs, £12 (topshop.com)
Petronella says: When I saw this set, I literally screamed. The briefs are the largest I’ve ever seen, in a nude spandex-type material, which for some reason has been embellished with studs.
It looks like armour! But looks can be deceptive.
I struggle to get into them but once I succeed, they take an inch off my waist. The bra is cleverly cut to take an inch off the ribcage, too.
These would be great under a tight-fitting dress but, with their grannyish material and unflattering nude colour, they wouldn’t pass the bedroom test! Nice try, though.
Charlotte says: The lace is very feminine but the black lines stop these pants from being boring.
The lines also draw people’s gaze upwards. The high waist is great for women self-conscious about their belly but the elastic may dig into the skin after a while.
Best for: fashionistas
4/10 Agent Provocateur: Bra, £95, Briefs £125 (agentprovocateur.com)
Petronella says: No, no, no! Ava, Grace and Fred would have hated these.
I feel like a second-rate Marilyn Monroe. The set does little for my figure — the bra and briefs are too shapeless, and I wish lingerie designers would stay away from nudes and beiges.
They are granny-like and unflattering. The material is good quality but that is the best I can say.
This set would also set you back a lot, so avoid.
Charlotte says: The knickers create a lovely silhouette and are great for holding in the belly.
The elasticated power-mesh material is flattering, and the rigid embroidery adds extra control.
The nude shade makes them invisible under lighter colours.
Best for: under pale clothes
5/10 Von Follies by Dita Von Teese: Bra, £30, Briefs, £20 (debenhams.com)
Petronella says: This set looks a little like the Rosie for Autograph one. I love the powder blue and the lace.
But for a more expensive set, designed by Dita von Teese — who has real retro curves — it doesn’t do its job as well as it should.
The briefs are too low and there’s a tassel on them that is a little vulgar.
It would also spoil the outline of a dress. The bra is pretty but a tad lewd for those shyer than Dita.
Charlotte says: These are very flattering — the lace cross creates a slimming illusion and grabs attention, while the high cut helps elongate short legs.
The sheer material on the bum is sexy but it doesn’t offer any shaping or support.
Best for: elongating short legs
7/10 Huit Icone bra, £40, briefs, £35 (asos.com)
Petronella says: I usually run from red underwear as it tends to look a little desperate.
But this is a nice shade of claret and adds some sex appeal to the notion of highwaisted briefs.
I’m not too impressed by the material though, which feels poor quality and is a bit itchy.
Also, the bra could do with more uplift. But, to my amazement, I love the colour — it has converted me to a more adventurous palate.
Charlotte says: The briefs have lots of nice detailing and are high enough to hide a tummy.
The upwards triangular pattern cleverly draws eyes upwards. But the boyish legcut means women with shorter legs should avoid them.
Best for: bright colour
4/10 Myla Bodysilk Bra, £60, Deep Thong, £90 (myla.com)
Petronella says: The silk and satin are very high quality but peach washes me out and makes me look larger than I am.
These confirm my suspicions. The bra is strapless, which only the flat-chested can get away with, while the briefs make my legs look shorter.
Only a size 6 woman with legs like a giraffe could get away with this. A tan would also help.
Charlotte says: The briefs are a wonderful shape. The leg cut comes in sharply at the front, which is flattering on fuller thighs.
You’d never know they were a thong from the front, making them great for avoiding a VPL under tight clothes.
The colour works best on fairer skin tones, though.
